You Make It Real
by hazy-strumpet
Summary: It’s that lovely rocky road to reconciliation… with a lot of confusion, anger, humour, angst, and, most of all, love. S2/S3 rewrite
1. Missing You

This is my first naley story, so please be gentle. I don't really want too give much away. Haley is back in Tree Hill after the tour, and her relationship with Nathan is a lot more confusing than she could have ever imagined. This is a more organic story about how they try to live apart only to realize that it is impossible to fight the presence of the other one in their lives. It's that lovely rocky road to reconciliation… with a lot of confusion, anger, humour, angst, and most of all, love.

Just a note – this first chapter is simply setting up the story. I'll be taking it in its own direction. . .

Hope you all enjoy, and please tell me what you think! 

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am poor, so please don't sue.

Chapter 1

_The lights slowly illuminated the stage as Chris Keller pulled out his guitar, sat on a stool, and sang his final song for the evening, "Missing You". It was a cover he had been dabbling with for the past week, claiming it had been special to him. Haley didn't understand why he chose this venue to debut his new cover. Neither of them felt a connection to Illinois. They had no family in the area. No friends. They hadn't even had time to connect with any fans prior to the show. So, Haley asked herself, as he started playing his guitar and the first couple of notes captured the attention of their audience, why now?_

_Bruce, their lighting technician, turned on all of the lights, illuminating the audience. Haley looked out into the crowd and looked at all of the people, staring intently at her fellow musician. Some swayed. Others raised their cellular phones in the air much like a lighter. Others sang along. Some even looked downright bored. _

_**I'm still standing here, and you're miles away. . .**_

_Then it happened. Her eyes started to fill with tears. She started to comprehend Chris' intentions for playing this song in this strange city._

_**And I ain't missing you at all since you've been gone away**_

_**I ain't missing you no matter what my friends say**_

_The emotions she had been ignoring finally revealed themselves in this moment. He chose this song in this city BECAUSE they didn't know anyone. They were far away from home. They were alone. There was no one in that audience who they recognized; who she had recognized. __**He**__ wasn't with her. As she continued to experience this epiphany, a group of girls started to watch her. They whispered to their friends. She knew they were commenting on her tears… _

_Haley had lost control. The sobs had invaded her body, and they would not go away. She missed him. She didn't let herself feel the pain. She numbed it by rationalizing that this was her dream. Was it? Was it worth losing her friends over? Her family? Her love? How could she be seduced by the fame and fortune of this tour when she knew how much she hurt Nathan? What was she thinking when she took off her wedding ring? Why didn't she beg Nathan to stay when he visited her? Who had she become? Was it a person who she liked? Who she was proud of?_

_Before Chris ended the song, she ran off stage. This was too much. She couldn't be here anymore. She ran to her dressing room and started to pack her belongings. She was done with the tour. She had to be._

"_Haley!!" She heard her name called, but she ignored it. She could barely breathe at the moment. No words could be formed._

"_Haley!! What are you doing?" There he was, Chris Keller: the one who gave her this opportunity; her only true friend at the moment. _

"_I. . . can't . . .I," she struggled. . ._

"_Haley, tell me what's wrong," he demanded._

"_I miss him," she whispered._

"_You what?" _

"_I miss him!" She informed him, finally finding her voice. "I need to go home Chris. I can't be here anymore. This was wrong."_

"_We have been through this, Haley. This is your dream. This is a one and a lifetime opportunity. You can't throw it away."_

"_Like I threw away my marriage?"_

"_That's different. Nathan didn't get it. He didn't support your dream."_

"_Yes, he did. He encouraged me, and what do I do? I kiss you. I run off with you when I knew he was hurting. I was acting so childish and selfish."_

"_So this is it? You're giving it up. Haley, we were offered record deals. This is our chance. Don't throw it away for him. Don't go back."_

_Haley looked him in the eye. He was right. This was her beginning. She could be a real musician. She could be someone people looked up to, cared about, and supported. She could be someone important. She stopped putting her clothes in her bag and sat on the couch, taking a deep breath. _

_Chris sat next to her, taking her hand in his. "How do you even know Nathan hasn't moved on? He wanted an annulment, Haley. He wanted out of the marriage. What if you give this up only to learn that he gave up on you?"_

"_It's a chance I have to take. I have to try and fix this. I have to see if we can work this out."_

"_You hurt the guy, Haley. He's not going to forgive and forget."_

"_I know. I know it won't be easy, but I can't do this without him. I can't be a singer without his support. I can't sing for these crowds every night and not love him. I can't stop the ache in my heart from not seeing him, and I'm done trying to."_

"_Then maybe you should go home," Chris sighed. He let go of her hand and took her bag in his hand. "If you're not willing to put everything you have into this, then this is not for you. This is not a business for the weak. You've been nothing but a whiney bitch since Nathan's accident, and I'm actually getting tired of hearing about it. So go. Go home, Haley."_

_She looked up at him, shocked by his words. Was he truly giving up on her? For months, he had convinced her of the importance of this tour and how salient it was for her career to prosper. "Are you pulling some type of reverse psychology on me?"_

"_No, I'm just tired. It's pretty clear where your heart is, Haley. I can't make the pain go away. I even offered you a night of Chris Keller loving and you refused."_

_Haley smiled at this. _

"_I don't understand why you wouldn't want a piece of Chris Keller. All the ladies do."_

"_I'm sure they do," Haley laughed. His ego always amused her. She knew it was a defense mechanism. "I guess this is goodbye."_

"_I guess so," Chris replied and pulled her into a hug._

"_Thank you for all of this. As hard as it's been, I'll always remember the tour as one of the greatest moments in my life."_

"_Are you sure you're not just talking about sharing a bus with me?"_

_Haley have him a sarcastic laugh. "Oh yes, it was all about you!"_

"_I knew it!" He laughed. "Good luck."_

_Haley then looked around, took her belongings, and headed towards the door. "I'll need it."_

* * *

She stared at the wall of her former apartment, the one she had shared with Nathan, recalling the moment where everything had changed for her.

"Haley?"

She turned when she heard her name. "Brooke, hi."

"Hi," she greeted carefully. "What are you doing here?

"I . ."

"Are you back? Is the tour in tree hill? Has Nathan seen you? Does Lucas know?!!?" Brooke demanded all in one breath, causing Haley to let out a small laugh.

"Yes, I am back. No, I left the tour. No, he hasn't and no, he doesn't know." Haley responded in the same manner Brooke asked her questions.

"I missed you, Tutorwife!" Brooke laughed. They always had fun teasing each other.

"Missed you too, Tigger," she smiled. It was nice that her first encounter with her "former life" was positive.

"So, why are you here?"

"I don't know."

"What?"

"I mean I know, but I'm not ready to talk about it. It just makes all of it more real, you know?"

"Ya," Brooke sighed. "But seriously, why are you in my apartment?"

"Oh," Haley let out an embarrassed chuckle. "I thought. . . I guess I had nowhere else to go. My parents are in California. The rest of my family has been out of Tree Hill for a long time. I didn't know where to go."

"Why didn't you go see Nathan?"

"I did. His mom told me he was in Florida until tomorrow, and then she slammed the door in my face."

"Oh."

"I know I deserved it."

"I'm not going to disagree." Brooke told her.

"I made a lot of mistakes, Brooke. Leaving for the tour was one of the stupidest things I could have done."

"But you loved it. . .right?"

"I did," she confirmed, "but I always loved Nathan more. And he doesn't know that."

"Ya. . "

"I made such a mess out of everything.. I wish.."

"Brooke?! Are you in there?" Lucas called as he entered the small apartment, shocked to see his best friend standing in the centre of the living room. "Did I just walk into the twilight zone? Let me try this again." He then left the apartment, yelled out Brooke's name once again, and still saw Haley.

"You can stop now," Haley smiled at his confused expression.

"Are you back for good?"

"I think so."

"You think??" Brook asked.

"I'm back for good," she confirmed. She was simply scared of her confrontation with Nathan, but she couldn't let that push her out of Tree Hill.

Lucas took that opportunity to wrap his arms around her and pull her into a tight embrace. "Thank God!!!"

Haley laughed at this. "I missed you so much, Luke. No one could ever replace my best friend."

"I missed you so much. Tree Hill hasn't been the same."

Brooke looked at them and then decided that she was intruding on some much needed "Lucas and Haley" time, so she made an excuse about needing to go furniture shopping and ran out the door.

"So, you just left the tour?" Lucas asked as they left the apartment after Brooke and walked toward the nearest park.

"I left a couple of months ago. I came back to Tree Hill to learn that Nathan was at High Flyers and that there was no apartment, so I stayed with my parents. I joined them as they continued to tour the country in their RV." Haley laughed.

"Why didn't you come see me?"

"I was a mess, Luke. When I found out Nathan had left, I knew that I needed to use that time to pull myself together again."

"I could have been there for you, Haley."

"I just needed to be with my family again."

"I get it," Luke sighed. He hated the fact she didn't come to him when she felt her world was falling apart. He would have taken care of her.

"I'm sorry. I know I should have talked to you. I'm sorry I ignored you all summer and didn't tell you I quit the tour. I've been such a horrible friend."

"Haley. . . "

"I have. I didn't tell you I was leaving. I haven't even talked to Peyton or Brooke (other than today) since I left. I became someone who I wasn't proud of."

"I understand that," Lucas smiled, remembering when he had been ready to leave Tree Hill when he became someone he wasn't proud of.

"I know you do."

"So what now? Lucas asked.

"I don't know. I guess we take senior year by storm like we always planned to."

* * *

_She was back. _This was the only thought that went through Nathan's mind as he saw Haley walking down the hall of their high school. When did she get back? Why didn't he know about this?

"Nathan," he turned to see Tim behind him. "You ready to partay Tim-style?!?!"

"What the fuck does that mean?" Nathan wondered as his eyes were still focused on his 'wife'.

"It means we're gonna get crunk!!" And then Tim proceeded to do a dance to illustrate the meaning of "crunk".

"Just say we're going to party, Tim." Nathan sighed in frustration. He needed to stop trying so hard.

"Are you in? Jamal has pimped his 'rent's beach crib into party central." Tim informed him.

Nathan simply laughed at this. "Wow, man. You really don't get it to do?"

"Get what?"

"Never mind," Nathan was not in the mood to, yet again, tell his friend that he's a white rural hick who listens to too much rap.

"Your boo is back."

Nathan simply rolled his eyes at this. Haley was back. Yes, he knew that. She was within walking distance. . . "Tim, go away."

"Ok, bro. We'll chill later." Tim then walked off and Nathan took this opportunity to confront Haley.

"You're back." Wow, you're back? He couldn't think of anything better to greet her than with the obvious? Smooth.

"Nathan!" She looked at him, pretending to be shocked by his presence. In reality, she knew he had been watching her, and she was waiting for him to make the first move.

"You didn't feel it was important to tell me . . ." He was angry. How could she come back to Tree Hill and not even call? They were still married. She fucked up the annulment by writing "I love you" on the paper and then by not speaking to him until now. How messed up is that?

"This isn't the place to . . . "

"To what?"

"To fight."

"I don't want to fight with you, Haley. I just want some answers."

"Ok." She was nervous. She wasn't ready to be confronted by him. She didn't even have her morning coffee yet.

"So?"

"So, what?" Haley asked. It was too early for this.

"You didn't feel the need to tell me you were back?"

"I'm sorry, Nathan. I was scared to see you again. I was being a coward . . ."

"Obviously," he mumbled.

"I miss you," she whispered.

"Don't," he stopped her.

"Don't what?"

"Don't do that. Don't act like you care. I don't know why you're here, and I can't believe that I even cared for a second. Just stay out of my way, Haley."

She looked at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Nathan. . ."

"I can't deal with this now."

"We need to talk about this. I.. have so much to tell you. . ."

"I'm sure you do," He responded and then left. What was he thinking when he confronted her? He was not.

Haley stood in the hall, watching his retreating figure. She knew this wouldn't be easy. Chris told her that. Her parents told her that. Her sister, Vivian, told her that. Lucas told her that maybe some distance would be best. Brooke gave her a push up bra to entice him. Sadly, she loved Brooke's advice most. She didn't think it through since the wires were digging into her chest.

"Tutor-roomy!!" Brooke called out. "Stop adjusting the bra! It's not woman-like." She whispered that last sentence into her ear.

"It's really digging . . ."

"Stop!"

"Sorry," Haley sighed, placing her arms at her side and giving Brooke a look meant to ask 'happy now?'

"I saw Nathan looking pissed. Not that it isn't normal, but I figured it had something to do with you."

"Yeah, he came over to talk and then got mad and stormed off," she recalled and then pulled Brooke towards their first class.

"At least he talked to you, right?"

"I guess," Haley frowned. Haley looked inside the class to see Nathan already in a seat in the back. Great, her first senior class was with her husband who hated her. What a great start.

"This party tonight . . ." Brooke started but then noticed she had lost Haley's attention to the blue-eyed boy sitting in the back pretending to read. "Haley!" She called out and smacked her arm.

"What?"

"Party. Tonight. Beach. You're going. No arguments. Now, sit!"

"Bossy much?" Haley asked, rolling her eyes.

"You weren't listening to me. I don't appreciate it when I don't have your undivided attention. I'm Brooke fricken Davis!"

"I apologize your highness, Brooke fricken Davis," Haley laughed. She appreciated that Brooke could still bring a smile to her face.

"You better be sorry. Shopping after school. One moan, and I whip that ass of yours. Got it?"

"Got it!" Haley saluted and then turned her attention to the teacher as he began the class.

* * *

"Looking hot!" Brooke told her when she modeled the twentieth dress. "Finally, we have a winner!"

"I don't know. It's not really me."

"It's a total rock star look!"

"But I'm not a rock star," Haley reminded her. Why did she keep defining as an artist when she had clearly quit?

"Whatever. Looking hot is now your new thing. Nathan won't know what hit him!"

"I don't want to play games with him . . ."

"Stop acting all noble and let your husband get turned on!" Brooke said in frustration. This obviously was not the best tactic since Haley threw the dress at her and ran out of the store.

When Brook followed her, they both saw Nathan walking down the street with a few of his basketball buddies. Of course, now that she was back, the 'gods' would not give her a break. Karma. Fucking karma.

Nathan, however, did something that shocked her. He continued laughing with his buddies and passed by her like she didn't even exist. She paused for a moment. What the fuck was that?

"Ok, let's go buy that dress!" Haley yelled out as she ran back in the store.

"That's my tutor/rock star roomy!!" Brooke called out in a proud tone. This was definitely going to be interesting . . .


	2. Undiscovered

Hey all. Here is chapter 2. I wanted to get it up sooner, but life got in the way.

I just want to make something clear - I am very pro Haley on this show. A lot of the story is from her POV and a lot of the story will go further into the tour to see Haley's side of the "coin". So don't worry, this story is not intended to punish Haley. If anything, it's to show how much she's punished herself - maybe too much. I want to explore that a little. I also want to play with "asshole" Nathan a bit... :)

Anyway, enjoy and leave some love. Stressful week ahead, so I may need some added inspiration to write. lol.

Thanks for the support so far.

Enjoy!

Chapter 2

Haley, who was currently waiting in the massive line for the toilet, tried to ignore the looks of disgust she was receiving from her fellow classmates. She hadn't noticed it during the school day, but it was evident at the party. Haley James (Scott) was not to be recognized as anything other than a home-wrecker. Hurting Nathan Scott, the most popular jock, was the worst thing one could do. His little soldiers (the whole student body it seemed) were very protective of their ruler. Haley had always despised the "class" system in high school – popular vs. the unpopular. The notion of it always confused her and even angered her. She didn't fall in love with Nathan because of his high school status. She fell in love with _him – _the amazing guy behind the smirks and stern looks. The one who would bring her coffee in the morning because he knew she had a big test that morning or the one who would change the channel when ANY clown appeared on a television series. He was thoughtful and caring… He was her everything.

And now.

Now, he wasn't.

He wasn't her anything.

Finally, it was her turn to use the toilet. Of course, as she entered the bathroom that smelled of a lovely mixture of poo, vomit, and booze, one of the girls purposely ran into her, causing Haley to spill some of her drink on her jeans. Lovely.

As she entered the bathroom, another girl ran ahead of her, took off her pants and sat on the toilet. "I'll be quick, I promise," she smiled drunkenly.

"Oh please, take your time," Haley informed her sarcastically. This was why she hated parties. People were always such idiots when they were wasted.

_CRASH!_

"FUCK! Do you know how expensive that was?!?!!?" Haley knew this would be the beginning of yet another party fight. It would not be a party without two guys trying to punch each other, yet missing due to their intoxication. Why did she come again?

"I thought you were fast," Haley spoke. This girl was just sitting there looking at toilet paper as if it were a piece of modern art – looks interesting yet no one understands its meaning.

"Sorry, I didn't realize I had to take a shit."

"Oh my god!" Haley yelled in frustration and ran out of the bathroom.

Ridiculous!!

As Haley continued to walk through the house, one guy felt the need to get in her face and announce, "I have a fucking small penis!"

Huh? Haley did not know how to respond to such a lewd comment. She tried to ignore it, but he was back.

"My penis is so fucking small!!"

"Good for you," she mumbled as she started to push her way threw the crowd of drunk students.

"Haley!!"

"What!?" She snapped.

"Where are you going, friend? I have barely seen you all night!"

"Sorry Brooke, but you were too busy macking on Lucas. Where is he, by the way?"

"Oh, he tried to break up that fight. It turns out there was no need since David tried to punch Wally and ended up tripping over his own shoe and passing out. They're trying to wake him up now," Brooke smiled as she retold this "fascinating" story.

"Wow, I did not see that coming," Haley replied dryly. "I think I am going to go outside for a bit. The smell of beer is starting to make me want to vomit."

"Don't go out the backdoor. A bunch of the guys are taking hits on Jamal's bong."

"Seriously?" Haley questioned with an annoyed tone. "Maybe I'll go join them. Anything to make this party better," she smiled. That would definitely be the shocker of the night. Haley James stoned off her ass. It almost sounded appealing.

"I think Nathan is out there. . ." Brooke smiled.

"Of course he is," Haley muttered. "I'm going to the beach. I'll talk to you later"

Haley then walked out the front door, towards Brooke's car, and took her guitar out of the trunk. THIS was her drug. She only needed a quiet beach and her acoustic guitar to take the weight of the world off her shoulders. As she sat on the cold sand with her guitar, her fingers took over and her voice soon followed the rhythm.

_**Look at you**_

_**You bite your tongue**_

_**You don't know why or where I am coming from**_

_**But in my head, I am close to you**_

_**We're in the rain still searching for the sun**_

_**You think I want to run and hide**_

_**I'll keep it all locked inside**_

_**I want you to find me.**_

_**I'm not lost; I'm not lost**_

_**Just undiscovered.**_

* * *

_Haley placed her bag in the bus' luggage compartment – a sullen expression upon her face. "This is what I want," she repeated to herself as she walked onto the bus. _

"_I'm proud of you," Chris told her as he walked on to the bus and took the seat next to hers. _

"_Yeah . . .," Haley responded looking out the window. She was about to leave Tree Hill – the only home she's ever really known. She was 17 and going into the unknown. It was scary, but it was what she needed to do. This was right. It had to be._

"_Haley. . ."_

"_Don't," She stopped him from touching her. "If you comfort me, I'll break down, and I can't break down," she told him, tears already falling from her eyes. "I can't…" She repeated this until the words had left her voice only to be replaced with rapid sobs. _

"_I guess Nathan didn't take it well?"_

"_No," she whispered as her sobs began to slow and she was regaining a normal breathing pace. _

"_Then he doesn't deserve you."_

"_Or maybe I don't deserve him," Haley sighed and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Ok, enough crying. What do we do next?"_

_Chris watched her struggle and a part of him wondered if he should kick her off this bus. Was she really ready for this? She may have been 'married', but she was just a kid._

"_Tomorrow, we go to Raleigh and we do a couple of radio interviews in the AM. We then practice our set since we need to transition you into the show. You then play your first show, and then we hang out and most likely go to sleep at 3am. And then we do it again in Nashville!" _

"_Yay!" Haley smiled jokingly. "That actually sounds really cool."_

"_It is. You'll forget about Nathan after the rush of the first show. I promise."_

"_Don't make promises you can't keep," Haley sighed. "This is going to kill him."_

"_It might. But it would kill you NOT to do this. Do you really think you and Nathan would survive him taking away your dream? Your opportunity to be something more than you ever imagined?"_

"_This is what I want," Haley said again. She did believe that. She did want this. She knew the cost was high, but sometimes the greatest things in life required the greatest sacrifice. Was this it?_

* * *

_**You see that look that's on my face,**_

_**You might think that I'm out of place**_

_**Well, I'm not lost, no, just undiscovered. **_

"That was amazing!"

Haley, startled by her audience member, fell over, causing her guitar to hit her in the chest. "Ow!"

"Sorry, Hales. I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's ok, Luke. What are you doing here? Brooke move on to her next target?"

"No, but she did tell me that you were out here."

"Oh, well, the party was pretty lame."

"I agree. Everyone is so wasted. Tim was hitting on a mop as I was leaving."

"I'm sure the mop will tell him to get lost," Haley smiled. She got to know Tim while she was living with Nathan, and she came to the conclusion that he's the most delusional guy she has ever met. It was what made him Tim though, and she actually learned to love that about him.

"That song was beautiful, Hales. Did you write it?"

"No, it's by James Morrison."

"Who?"

"A musician. He's a pretty good guy."

"Good guy? As in you know him?"

"I met him when the tour was in New York. We got to talking about life and love."

"It wasn't. . ."

"No, we didn't have a romantic connection. We were both dealing with similar experiences. He had broken up with his girlfriend recently, and he was missing her like I was missing Nathan."

"I feel like such a terrible friend for never asking about the tour. . ."

"Don't feel like that. Everyone seems to consider it the worst thing ever, right?"

"But it's not. Haley, that tour is a part of who you are now. Maybe I didn't understand it. . ."

"No one understood it. Sometimes, I didn't even understand what I was doing. I guess I just wanted to see if I could make it, you know?"

"You did make it."

"No, I just realized that making it wasn't worth it without Nathan in the audience supporting me."

"Have you told him that?"

"No, he won't even look at me."

"I'm sorry, Hales. I know this is hard on you."

"It's not fair, you know? People just assume that I wasn't hurting. Like I wanted all of this to happen. Yes, I am the one who ran, but he was the one who said it was over if I did."

"He didn't want you to leave. . ."

"And I didn't want to leave with him hating me. We all can't get what we want, can we?" Haley replied angrily. "I'm sorry," She sighed. "That wasn't fair. I'm just frustrated and pissed off and tired. . "

Lucas finally sat next to her and pulled her towards him, placing the guitar in front of him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her air. "I wish I could take the pain away. . ."

"Thank you for still being my best friend. I am so grateful. . ."

"Don't be grateful. You should expect this, ok? You are my number one, and you always will be! Always!" He assured her as he ran his hand over her car comfortingly.

"What would I do without you?" Haley asked and left the comfort of his arms and brought her guitar back to her chest and played a few random notes.

"You'll never have to know," He smiled.

"The same goes for you. You know I am always here for you too, Luke."

"I know that. Now, play me another song!" He demanded as she started to play an acoustic version of "Last Resort" by Papa Roach. "Tomorrow, we work on this dark place you're in."

Haley simply smiled and continued to play.

* * *

Nathan had been watching Lucas and Haley ever since he noticed Lucas walking toward the water. He watched at he wrapped his arms around her, kissed her head, and rubbed her back. Nathan was tempted to go down there and end the BFF bonding that seemed a little more BF than BFF… He then realized he had just thought that and grabbed the bong from some girl next to him and took his first hit of the night. He needed something to take the pain from seeing her again away.

"Yes, Nathan!!!" She called out encouragingly.

What was her name again? Brenda? Bernette? B-cup? No, that was her bra size… The weed was not helping his memory.

"Hey, I think there's a donkey riding around the beach… the donkey has dreads like bob Marley," one of the guys in the group observed.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Nathan asked as he looked at the beach.

"Over there!"

He then looked over and saw Haley "riding her guitar" like a horse with Lucas encouraging and laughing at her.

"That's not a donkey, you shithead."

"No, it's a girl riding her guitar. What I wouldn't give to be that guitar. . "

"She sure has skill. . . If she were riding me…"

"Fuck!!" Nathan interrupted. The weed slowed him down a little, so he thought he had interrupted them a few minutes ago only to discover his voice was on delay at the moment. "If any of you talk about my wife like that again, I will kick your asses."

"I thought it was over," The B named girl spoke.

Nathan looked over at Haley. Even completely wasted on booze and weed, there was one thing he knew. It would never be over. No matter how much he wanted the pain from it all to go away. "No, it's not over until I say it is." He told them and then began to stumble towards the beach.

"Nathan…" Haley called out to him as he stumbled toward her.

"Do you mind, Luke?" He asked as he pulled Haley away, leaving Lucas and her guitar behind.

"What the hell, Nathan? You can't just stumble toward me. . ."

With that, he kissed her. His lips roughly captured hers and soon his tongue was pushing itself through her rigid mouth.

"Na-" She tried to voice but his tongue invaded her mouth, and she could not stop him from dominating her like this. The truth was that she didn't want him to. It had been too long. Finally, giving into temptation (knowing it was wrong), she kissed him back, rubbing her tongue against his. As soon as she responded, however, he ended the kiss.

"I just wanted to make a point," He told her. He then looked over at his group of friends who all hollered in response, and he left her and ran towards them.

"NATHAN!!" Haley called after him. "Nathan! You can't do that!" She yelled as she ran after him. She caught up to him easily since he was running in the most exaggerated zigzag pattern. She was wondering if he even knew where he was going.

"Woosh, Woosh… crunch crunch" Nathan mumbled drunkenly as he ran in his pattern. He seemed completely oblivious of what he had just done. Haley wondered just how wasted he was. Without another thought, she pushed him, forcing him to lose what little balance he had and fall into the sand… "Whoa, the earth is moving. . ."

"Nathan!" She screamed to get his attention. "If you EVER pull something like that again, I will. . ."

"You'll what? Run away on another rock tour??" He slurred. His hurt, however, was still evident in his tone.

"No," She sighed. He was hurting. He was lashing out at her. Did she try to understand his motives or did she reprimand him for being a self-righteous pig? "No, but I will do this." As soon as she said this, she kicked him in his "family jewels" as hard as she could and he screamed out in pain.

"I will not let you treat me like crap, Nathan. We may as well end this now if you're going to," She informed him as tears welled up in her eyes. "I will not stand for this version of you!" She looked at the house and noticed a large group of drunken classmates watching their whole exchange. "You can hate me, ignore me, BUT you will treat me with the respect I deserve!"

"Hales, I'm. . ." Nathan began to apologize as he held his burning crotch in his hands, attempting to soothe the overwhelming pain.

"Save it. I'm out of here," She told him and went to pick up her guitar and walked away. Everyone watched her as she did…

* * *

"Haley!" Brooke called out as she entered their one bedroom apartment. "Haley! Where are you??? She ran around the small apartment and then found her crouched against their kitchen island, knees brought up to her chest, sobbing.

"Oh, Haley. . ."

"I can't fix this, can I?" She cried. "He's never going to love me like he did before. He's never going to look at me like he did. . ."

"He just needs time," Brooke responded soothingly. "He needs to know you're here for the long haul."

"I'm tired," She cried. "So tired," she repeated as she continued to sob into her knees.

"I know," Brooke sighed as she sat next to her inconsolable roommate.

"I wish.. I wish I stayed on that tour. . " Haley admitted as she continued to cry. "People liked me there. The audience loved me. Maybe it wasn't real love, but it helped, you know? Singing for people who appreciated my talent helped. Surrounding myself with people who believed in me helped.. this. . . this is.."

"What? What is this?"

"It's hell, Brooke. Only you and Lucas will talk to me. Nathan kisses me to prove some random point to his friends. Peyton has ignored every call and text I have sent. Some of my teachers even looked at me like everyone else does. . ."

"I don't know what to say,"

"You think I deserve it. I get it. Everyone seems to think I deserve this. Maybe I do. Maybe I think it a little too, but I am tired of apologizing for going after something I wanted. No, I shouldn't have kissed Chris, and for that I will always apologize, but I am done apologizing for the tour."

"Umm… I.." Brooke was at a loss for words. How did she respond without coming off like a complete bitch? Haley seems to forget that she left Nathan. She left him hurting here in Tree Hill and didn't even call him. . .

"I cared. I cared about Nathan everyday I was away, but I let the music and the fame distract me. I tried to let myself believe I was going after something that was destined for me, but I never stopped loving him. I never stopped caring."

"I know you didn't, but how could he have known that? You turned him down when he visited you."

"I got scared when he came to see me. We got married so young and then the tour came around, and I was so confused, and I was scared. I was scared… and he didn't get it. He just left with no explanation. He didn't let me tell him . . ."

Brooke had never heard Haley's side of the story. She remembered Nathan coming home and saying she didn't want him anymore and left it at that. Nathan seemed to have left out a few things. . .

"I didn't realize. . ."

"Well, it's hard to defend yourself when you're not here," Haley sniffled.

"Nathan was."

"I'm glad you were all there for him. I'm glad you all helped him through it. I should be grateful. . ."

"But you're not. . ."

"No, I am. I guess I just wish it had been me. I wish we didn't grow apart like this, but I can't take it back. I wish I could, but I can't."

"No, you can't, but you can try to change it."

"Yeah," She sighed. She questioned her strength to truly make this better. Did couples survive this? Could she and Nathan move on from this?

"Do you really want to go back on tour?"

"Honestly?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know," Brooke smiled, causing a small smile to form on Haley's lips.

"A part of me misses it – being in a different city every night. Playing for thousands of people. Don't get me wrong; it wasn't always easy. I wasn't always fully accepted by the crowds, but there were always a few who showed their support. It was a rush I definitely miss. . ."

"Then why are you here?" Brooke appeared perplexed. If she loved it that much then why come back to the uncertain?

"I miss Nathan more."

"Oh." She had her answer.

"I just need to get him to see that."

"And if he doesn't?"

"I haven't thought that far ahead yet. . ."

Before Brooke could make another comment, there was a knock on their door. "I guess I'll get that," Brooke quipped when Haley didn't move an inch from her position on the floor. The knocking got louder. "I'm coming! Geesh!" She opened the door, revealing a very apologetic looking Nathan on the other side.

"Is she here?"

Brooke looked over at the island, debating whether Haley had the strength to converse with Nathan right now. "She's. . ."


	3. It Don't Matter to the Sun

Chapter 3

_**_

"_Haley?" Chris called as he walked onto their tour bus at one am. They had just finished their 10__th__ show, so everyone felt the need to celebrate – except Haley._

"_Haley, come on. Don't do this. I know you're here."_

_Haley pulled the curtain guarding her bunk open and looked at Chris; her eyes still puffy from crying._

"_You need to stop this! Come on! No more sulking. No more tears," he commanded as he pulled her out of the bunk. _

"_I'm sorry, Chris. I've been nothing but a pathetic. . "_

"_No one calls my duet partner pathetic!! Even if she is a little. . ." Chris smiled._

_Haley smiled at this. She knew she needed to stop letting herself be overwhelmed by her feelings of loss. She knew that she needed to enjoy this tour a little more, but it had been over a week, and she had talked to Lucas once and while she had dialed Nathan's number at least 100 times, she never had the confidence to press send. What would he say? Would he show his disgust with her over the phone? Would he hang up? It was easier not knowing how he was feeling. She could, at least, focus a little more on the tour, not knowing the full extent of his pain. She knew that sounded brutal, but it was the truth. _

"_Sulking over Nathan is not going to change anything, Hales."_

"_It's just hard, knowing he's hurting and I'm here, loving this."_

"_Loving this?! Haley, I don't think there's a day when I haven't seen you go into that Nathan coma. You're not enjoying yourself enough!"_

_Haley wiped her eyes and stood up, defiantly. "Ok, let's party!"_

"_That's my girl!"_

_Haley and Chris walked into Michelle's dressing room where at least 20 people were drinking and laughing. _

"_Haley!!!!" Michelle called out, hugging her close. "I was missing you tonight. Where were you?"_

"_Married girl was sulking again. Shocking!" Chris answered for her._

"_Haley, I don't know what possessed you to get married at 16, and I don't want to understand it, but stop feeling guilty for this!!" Jessica chimed in. She hated watching a fellow musician in such pain, especially one who was as talented and humble as Haley._

"_Drink this. You will feel better," a friend of Michelle's added, handing Haley a drink of only God knows what. _

_This drink, followed by seven others, put Haley in one of her best moods in weeks. "LOOK AT ME. I am a tree!!" Haley showed her fellow band mates as she manipulated her arms into branches. . ._

_Everyone simply laughed at the goofy drunk girl in front of them and cheered her on. _

"_I don't like clothes right now." Haley observed as she pulled at her shirt. "They are so confining," she continued to slur. "I mean, look at this bra. My boobs are totally not meant to me this high. That's not natural, right?"_

_Everyone laughed as Haley continued to ramble to a poster of Gavin Degraw, except she called him Stu. No one knew why, and they didn't want to question it._

"_Stu! Why won't he call me? He would take off my clothes. He really liked that," She continued. _

"_Maybe it wasn't so smart to drug her drink," one of the girls laughed. Haley was now in an in depth conversation with "Stu" about the microcosm of a tour and how it was representative of the music industry: busy, amazing, fun, and lonely._

"_Haley," Michelle walked over to her, interrupting Haley's constant ramblings. "Come over here and sit with us. We're playing 'I Never'."_

"_That is soo high school. I mean. . "_

"_Shush and play, married girl!!" Chris stopped the inevitable three-minute speech about to come out of Haley's drunken mouth. "I'll start. I've never been married."_

"_Oh you!!" Haley warned and started to drink. "Yes, I am married, and he haaatesss me.. so ya, married life rocks the hizzay!"_

"_I think she's had enough. . ." One of the band members observed. _

"_Ok, my turn. I've never streaked." _

_Almost everyone took a sip of their drinks. _

_This game continued and Haley, more drunk than she'd ever been, needed to break way from the crowd. She pulled out her phone and pressed a familiar name._

"_I'm drunnkk!! And I think a little stoned, but I don't know. It's Haley, by the way. Remember me? Of course you do. I'm only your wife! Remember that time we got married on the beach? That was sooo much fun! Let's have sex again. Maybe we can do it on the beach. Or maybe I can just do a strip tease for you! Oh, remember that time I came out of our room naked and Tim was there, and he was all.."oh my god" and you got all pissed he saw me naked? I misssss you… Call me, lover. I'm horny for some lovin'! _

_Unfortunately, Haley learned the next morning, when she had woken up with a really bad hangover, that she had pressed the wrong name. "Nana" got a very interesting message and told her mom "sweet Haley" was a monster, and it was time to lock her up in a padded cell. Haley then vowed she would never get drunk on the tour again… _

_**_

Haley reminisced about that night as she wrote a song about how crazy love can make you. She didn't really have any solid lyrics, but she was working on the perfect melody for a song that would be about how sometimes even the most "conservative" types go a little crazy at times, especially when their soul is hurting. Love can hurt, of course, but it also can bring out a side of you that you didn't know existed. That lovely phone message her Nana received exemplified her newest theory.

"Roomy," Brooke called as she entered the kitchen in search for some breakfast. "What are you doing awake so early? It's…." She checked the clock on the microwave, "noon. How could you let me sleep this much?!"

"Sorry Tigger, I lost track of time."

"Thinking about Nathan?"

"Actually, I was thinking about this time I got so drunk on tour that I drunk dialed who I thought was Nathan but ended up being my Nana."

"What?!" Brooke smiled. "Why is this the first time I am hearing this? What did you say?"

"Oh you know, how I wanted to have sex with him and how I walked into our living room naked. Nana got a kick out of that part," Haley laughed. She remembered talking to her mom after her Nana had complained about the message. They had a good laugh for a half hour at least over how absurd it was. It was one of the first times where Haley started to feel okay again.

"I didn't know you had that in you!" Brooke laughed as she poured herself a bowl of cereal.

"Thinking about it made me realize how serious I have been lately. When my mom and I talked about that message, we just laughed at it. It really helped me feel better."

"Laughter is the second best medicine. . ."

"Second?"

"After sex, of course! Duh, Haley!" Brooke joked.

"Of course. Anyway," Haley continued as she gave Brooke a look of amusement, " I am thinking it's time to start having fun. Yes, things suck with Nathan, but I can't let that stop me from laughing and being a little happy, right?"

"So what, you want to drunk dial your nana again? Or maybe you can call Nathan and say you want to knit sweaters with him and drink tea and talk about how your grandparents fell in love. . "

"You're so funny," Haley laughed. "I was thinking of something better. . ."

"Oh, I am liking the sound of this!" Brooke grinned as she joined Haley on the couch.

"I thought you would," Haley smiled. She then stood up, walked over to her backpack and took out a notebook and textbook.

"What are you doing?" Brooke asked.

"Math! It always cheers me up," Haley smiled. "I think it's time I spend less time crying and more time being the real "Haley" again. No rock star, no wife, no home wrecking bitch.. just Haley."

"When you said fun, I thought you meant a party or even shopping. This is. . "

"More than perfect. I am going to need the room to concentrate, so I will talk to you later!" Haley then smiled and skipped to the bedroom with her math homework.

**

"She's doing math!!" Brooke complained to Lucas and Peyton while the three of them sat in Karen's Café, enjoying coffee and dessert.

"So. . ." Lucas replied.

"So, she said she wanted to try and be happy again and then she pulled out math!! That's a cry for help!"

"Not for Haley. She loves doing homework. This is actually pretty healthy."

"Oh, this is not healthy!"

Peyton simply watch as the two of them continued to fight over Haley's current state of 'nerdiness' with complete disgust. How could they even talk to her?

"Can we stop talking about this?" Peyton complained. "I'm really not ready to hear all about the "poor" Haley James (sometimes Scott)."

"Oh, come on P.M.S," Brooke warned, "you need to stop the hate. It doesn't do well for your hair."

"My hair?"

"Ya, when you have negative feelings, your hair can feel it. It would explain the frizziness." Brooke smiled jokingly.

"You're insane," Peyton smiled. Brooke always knew how to make any conversation funny. It was one of her many talents.

"Back to the problem here. Haley and Math! And it's Saturday. . . We should be shopping for cute outfits for Tric!"

"Brooke, you forget who Haley is. She's an A student who loves doing her homework and watching the Discovery network."

"You don't have to tell me. Last night, she made me watch "The Great Sperm Race"! I thought it would be a little more erotic than watching sperm fight to get to the egg. It even made sperm boring. SPERM!"

"Can you not yell sperm in my mom's café?" Lucas chuckled nervously.

"Haley could make anything boring. Blame it on her. Look what she did to Nathan," Peyton commented.

"Peyt, you know I love you, but if you make another negative comment about my best friend, I may have to ask Brooke to hit you," Lucas warned. "She made a mistake, and she's paying for it. Trust me. She doesn't deserve this."

"I'm sorry, Luke. I just hate what she did to Nathan. He really didn't deserve that."

"And she doesn't deserve this. I'm going to go see Haley. I'll see you both later," Lucas said as he walked out of the café and made his way to Haley's.

**

"Hales?" Luke yelled as he walked into the apartment. He knocked on her bedroom door and when he didn't hear an answer, he opened it to see Haley asleep amongst books and papers. He smiled at how peaceful she looked.

"Oh, Hales. . ."

She started to wake up and looked a Lucas a little startled by his sudden appearance. "Why are you here? Brooke's out."

"I'm here to see you. I'm told you've chosen math as a new fun hobby."

Haley laughed at this. "Brooke was not happy about that."

"Not at all," Lucas laughed. "Were you crying?" He asked when he noticed all of the crumpled tissue surrounding the books.

"I thought this would cheer me up, you know? And then I remembered my first tutoring session with Nathan, and I lost it."

"Have you two talked at all?" Lucas asked. He was concerned about his friend. He'd never seen her like this before.

"No, he came over last week, but Brooke told him to leave. I haven't really seen him since (other than class, of course)."

"He's sorry, you know. About kissing you at the party like that."

"I know. I got his 'I'm sorry' text. He said he was high and not thinking, and he regretted making me feel like that."

"Oh. Well, he should feel bad. . ."

"Yea," Haley sighed. "I can't believe I kicked him. I was in such a bad mood, and that was the last straw."

"He definitely was limping for a good hour after that," Lucas laughed. "Remind me not to piss you off." They both laughed.

"I'm in the mood for some ice cream. You game, buddy?" Haley asked as she got off her bed and pulled Lucas with her.

"Always," Lucas smiled. He loved the fact he had his best friend back. He hated to think this, but with her and Nathan on such unstable ground, he has been able to be her #1 again. He hated how much he enjoyed that.

**

Nathan walked into Tric with his basketball buddies, laughing at something stupid Tim had just said. He almost felt like he was the popular Nathan (pre Haley) again… but without the sex. He hadn't been able to even look at another girl, knowing Haley would always be the one who occupied his heart. He wasn't ready to let her know just how special she was to him, but he couldn't fight the fact that she was his everything, and she always would be.

He watched her laughing with Lucas by the bar. She was wearing a strapless red dress that hugged her curves perfectly and Nathan couldn't help the lust he felt for her as he watched her smile. He wanted her. He always did and always would. He just didn't know how fix all of the tension between them. Most of all, he didn't know if he was ready to let go of his anger and hurt just yet.

"Dude, check out that new girl," Tim pointed to a red head sitting alone at the bar, flirting with the bartender.

"She's pretty hot," Nathan admitted, but his eyes traveled back to Haley. He noticed when she bent-over, a small amount of her cleavage would show. Oh, how he missed "romi" and "michelle" – the names he and Haley agreed on calling her perfect breasts after one of their many Sunday movie marathons. Oh, how he longed for a reunion with Romi and Michelle.

"We think you should ask her out," Jamal told him, breaking him from his trance.

"Who?"

"The hot chick at the bar!"

"Guys, I'm not going to ask her out. I'm married."

"Stop lying to yourself. You and Haley are over, and it's time you started moving on."

"Yeah, man. A night of sex with that fine thing, and you'll forget about Haley."

"Not possible," Nathan mumbled and walked away from his 'friends'. They really didn't understand true love, and he did not have the strength to explain how pathetic he was over Haley. They wouldn't get it.

"Hey there," a voice greeted him from behind as he took a seat by the bar.

"Hey," he replied and then ordered his drink.

"I'm Rachel and you are gorgeous," She flirted. "I was thinking we could hang out since you're alone and I'm alone. . ."

Nathan gave her a small smile and then looked over at Haley who looked completely heartbroken as she watched him with this girl. He wasn't trying to hurt her. In fact, the look in her eyes was basically the equivalent of putting a knife through his heart.

"I'm not alone." He informed her and walked over to his friends.

"Please tell me you did not just turn that amazing girl down?" Greg, one of his other teammates, asked.

"Guys, I told you. I'm not interested in anyone right now."

"Except Haley," Tim mumbled. "I miss who you used to be, man. This is just pathetic. You're a whipped pussy now."

" Yeah, you and Haley have been broken up for months, and you've still not gotten any. What is wrong with you?" Jamal asked while he sipped his drink.

"We're not talking about this anymore," Nathan told them. "I don't need 5 wingmen. If I wanted to fuck some random girl, I would. Back off or I'll kick your asses. Got it?"

"Yeah, sorry man," They all mumbled.

**

Unfortunately, Haley had walked by when he had informed his he would 'fuck' some random girl as she had made her way to the ladies room. Of course, he was sleeping with new people. It's not like she could stop him. He didn't even wear his ring anymore. As far as anyone knew, he was single. This revelation pierced through Haley's heart and she could not stop the tears that flowed down her cheeks. All of this was so much harder than she had ever expected.

As she walked out of the stall, wiping a few of her remaining tears, she saw Peyton by the sink washing her hands.

"I heard you crying. Are you ok?" She asked her in a cold tone.

"Wow, you're talking to me," Haley said as she pressed the soap dispenser.

"Don't get used to it."

"What did I do to make you hate me so much?" Haley asked as she dried her hands. She understood she didn't keep in touch with Peyton while she was away, but she did not expect such hatred from her.

"It's not what you did to me. I'm not that pathetic. You put Nathan through hell, and you didn't even call."

"I did call!" Haley argued. She knew she didn't call enough. She was busy, but most of all, she had been a coward. It was easier to deal with something so astronomical by ignoring the problem was there. She hated that she had done that and even regretted it, but that didn't mean she wasn't hurt.

"To brag about being on TV and then letting the world know you were fucking Chris Keller? Yea, that was so thoughtful of you."

"I wasn't fu-… I was never with Chris. It was never about that."

"Whatever," sighed Peyton as she left the bathroom. She had had enough of Haley. Why did she need to justify her shitty actions? It was pathetic, and she hoped that Nathan saw through her act. "Hey Nate," She greeted when she saw Nathan by the bathroom.

"Hey Peyt, was Haley in there? I haven't seen her in a while, and she looked hurt when I was talking …"

"Why do you even care? She hurt you, Nate. You have no reason to worry about her," She informed him while dragging him away from the bathroom. "Let her hurt for a while and let's have some fun!"

"I care about her so much. You know that. I can't just let that go," He spoke while being dragged toward the dance floor. "Yeah" by Usher was playing as Peyton forced him to dance with her.

"You need to let her go. This isn't healthy," She yelled over the music and they danced.

**

"What is Peyton doing?" Brooke asked Lucas as the two were seated at a table drinking their "juice". Brooke had managed to swipe some vodka from the bar when no one was looking.

"Dancing with Nathan," Lucas pointed out.

"Yes, dancing with him knowing Haley is. . ."

"Haley is what?" Haley asked as she returned to her table. She saw Nathan and Peyton dancing closely and rolled her eyes. Of course, they were dancing. She always felt a little threatened by his past with Peyton, and here they were flaunting it. This night just kept getting worse. "I see Nathan found himself a dance partner," she observed as she grabbed the vodka and did a shot.

"Hales, don't start this. I don't want you drinking every time things go wrong with Nathan," Lucas was concerned of her path of self-destruction. She was either drinking, crying, or staring into space. It was not healthy. She needed to accept the consequences of her actions and move one from all of this. If Nathan wanted to act like a jackass, she shouldn't let it hurt her so much. He wasn't worth it when he acted like this.

"I'm not drinking every time. . . . Luke, I get that you care, but just stop, ok? I can make my own decisions." She was getting tired of his nagging. Could he just accept the fact she was hurt and needed some more time to heal?

"You're better than this," He reminded her.

"AHH!! Stop saying that! I am not better than anything. I am a flawed person like everyone else, and I am tired of this pedestal you put me on. If anyone else did this, it wouldn't be as bad, but because perfect Haley did something selfish, she's the worst person in the world. I am so sick of this!"

"Tutorgirl, you need to calm down. Luke is just trying to help," She defended her semi boyfriend.

Haley let out a sigh and put her head on the table. "I know you're trying to look out for me, Luke, but I can't just stop hurting right now and pretend that life is perfect. I'm not ready for that. "

"Hales, you know I don't want that. I just want you to stop letting Nathan's behaviour put you in such a dark mood. I hate seeing you so broken."

Haley went over to him and gave him a hug. "You can't stop me from feeling like this, but I also know that it will get better. Whether Nathan and I can work this out, I won't let it defeat me, I promise."

"Good," Luke smiled and kissed her cheek. "I was thinking we could put the golf course back up next weekend. The roof is a little lonely without it."

"That sounds perfect," Haley smiled. She then looked toward Nathan and Peyton who were still dancing. At least they weren't touching. Haley didn't have to go over there and punch the girl at least.

"Broody, I want to dance. Come with me," Brooke ordered, tired of this deep discussion they were having. This is not the place to be having emotional talks. It was a place to dance and have fun.

"You'll be okay, Hales?" Lucas asked as he stood up with Brooke.

"Yes, I will be!" She smiled. "I actually think I am going to take off. I don't think I am ready for these 'fun nights'. I'll see you at home, Brooke. Later Luke." She gave Nathan one last look and then walked towards the door only to be stopped by Tim.

"I hate you," he scowled.

"Join the club," Haley mumbled but kept walking away from him. She did not have the strength to deal with Nathan's "shadow" at the moment.

"You ruined Nathan!" He yelled at her as she walked out of the club.

**

Haley walked to a familiar bench along the boardwalk and sat on the table. She took out her guitar and tried to let the music and familiarity of the location heal her breaking heart.

_**It ain't gonna stop the world if you walk out that door.**_

_**This old world just keeps spinning round, spinning round.**_

_**Like it did the day before.**_

_**Cause to them it makes no difference.**_

_**It just keeps on keeping time.**_

_**Cause it ain't gonna stop the world, no.**_

_**But it'll be the end of mine.**_

_**So, what can I say? What can I do?**_

_**I'm still in love. Why aren't you?**_

When she finished this part of the song, tears began to form in her eyes, stopping her from continuing. It was cruel that the world could keep going on when she felt so broken. The world didn't care about her broken heart, and she hated waking up every morning feeling so empty. She regained her composure and continued:

_**Cause it don't matter to the moon if you're not in my life.**_

_**No, the moon will just keep hanging round, hanging round.**_

_**Like its just another night.**_

_**Who find another place to shine**_

_**On some other lover's dreams.**_

_**Cause it don't matter to the moon no, no.**_

_**It matters to me.**_

"That was beautiful," a voiced complimented her, shocking her out of her trance. It was Nathan.

"People need to stop doing that," she smiled and looked up at him. "Hi."

"Hi," He greeted and took a seat next to her on the table. "I saw you leave Tric."

"Yeah, well, it was getting a little boring watching Brooke all over Lucas all night," _and Peyton and some bitch all over you_, she thought but was too scared to voice her jealousy.

"Did you write that song?" He asked, knowing she always showed her heart through her music.

"No, it was Rosie Thomas. It just felt right to be singing it right now," she told him sadly. It was a song that perfectly summed up how she felt in this moment.

When Nathan continued to look out at the water, she began to feel the awkwardness between them. She had never felt like this with him before, and she hated it. "How'd you know that I was here?"

"I didn't. I went to the apartment and when you weren't there I took a walk. I always seem to come back here."

"I know what you mean," she smiled. This was the place where it all began for her. The boy she thought she'd always loathe gave her butterflies for the first time. Looking back now, she knew it was magic.

"You look nice tonight, Hales." He complimented and continued to stare at the water.

"Thanks," she replied shyly and began to play the melody of Sia's "Butterfly" on her guitar. _Yes, the butterflies are still there. . _She sang this in her head as she played during the silence. She wished she knew what to say in this moment. She was not prepared to see him tonight.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking about us and what we can do," He finally spoke up.

"Okay."

"I still have the annulment papers, but if we get an annulment, it would be like our marriage never happened, and I don't want that. We had a lot of good times."

"We did," she smiled. SOOOO many good times; however, they were still shadowed by the worst days.

"Instead, I looked into a divorce."

_NOOOOO!!!_

"The state says we need to be separated for a year," He continued, but his heart was breaking. He didn't want to do this. He knew that he'd always love her, but he just needed time, and for that to work, he needed to separate himself from the confusion he felt every time he saw her.

"Wha- What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that in a year from now, we'll see." He was confident they wouldn't go through with the divorce, but he needed it to be an option at this point. He hated that he needed it, but he really did. He needed an escape route from the girl who had the ability to hurt him more than anyone in this world.

"Nathan. . . we don't need this! In a year from now, we'll be ok!!" She was panicking. She truly did not expect this. He was breaking it off with her, and this was his way of doing it gently.

"Maybe… I can't put all of my money on 'maybe'" He told her. He didn't know what the future held, and he couldn't risk this.

"I don't know what to say. I don't want this. . " She tried to argue, but she knew this was a losing battle.

"Do you think I did?" He asked and the hurt he had attempted to mask began to show in his tone. "Haley, I wanted to marry you so much. I wanted to know that you would always be by my side, but it was selfish. You have a life to live too, and when you told me you were so confused over me and the tour, I got it. I hated it, but I realized that you weren't ready for marriage. You didn't want it like I did, and I never should have forced it. . "

"I wanted it just as much! Don't ever think that. I was scared and confused on the tour, but I always knew my heart was with you in Tree Hill. It never left you, Nathan. I know that we're young.. and maybe too young to be married, but the feelings I have for you are so strong. I will love you forever, Nathan. Never question that. Whether we got married now or in 10 years, I knew my love would stay the same. It didn't matter when we made it official."

"You can't say that now… not after months of silence.

"It's the truth. It was always the truth, but I hid from it. I stopped hiding when I left the tour, and I will fight for this. . .for us."

"I think we should try and see other people," Nathan blurted out. He was even shocked when he said it.

"You what?"

"You're right. We're so young, and maybe we jumped into this really quickly. You never had the chance to explore your options, and I am tired of feeling guilty when a girl just talks to me. "

"Did you even hear what I said? I only want you!"

"And you still made out with Chris. I just need to be sure. . ."

"I am so so sorry for that, Nathan, but please don't do this. . ."

"Maybe we can try to be friends. You can tutor me or we can hang out at times, but I'm not ready for this right now.. I don't know if I'll ever be."

"So basically, you want us to be friends who watch each other date other people?"

"I guess that sounds weird. ."

"It sounds terrible! I wouldn't even know how to be friends with you and watch you with another girl without ripping her hair out… Could you seriously watch me with someone else?"

"Right now, no, but we'd have to learn. We made a lot of mistakes in our relationship, and I think some time to just be ourselves again and try to be the people we want to be without each other is what we need right now.."

"You're wrong. Please don't do this, Nathan. I don't know if my heart can take it. . ."

"Well, my heart can't take another break up with you. I need time to figure all of this out."

"Ok, then." She told him feeling completely defeated. He wanted to see other people. It hurt a lot more than she ever thought it would.

"Ok.. so I guess I'll see you around," He told her as he stood up, adjusting his shirt.

"Yeah, I'll see you," she responded while he walked away from "their" spot. Yet again for the thousandth time that night, her eyes filled with tears. She hated how much of a mess she made.

She turned her attention back to her guitar and played a bit from Rosie Thomas' "It Don't Matter to the Sun":

_**Cause it don't matter to the moon if you're not in my life**_

_**No, the moon will just keep hanging round, hanging round.**_

_**Like its just another night.**_

_**Who find another place to shine**_

_**On some other lover's dreams.**_

_**Cause it don't matter to the moon no, no.**_

_**It matters to me.**_

She prayed this was not the end of them. She knew one thing. She was ready to fight, with every bit of strength she possessed, to fix this.

_**Cause it don't matter to the moon no, no.**_

_**It matters to me**_


	4. I Miss You

AN: I meant to post one of these on the last chapter, but I forgot, and then it was too late. Unfortunately, these first few chapters have to comment on the hurt the tour brought to Nathan, Haley, and so on. Without revealing where I want to take this story, I will say it's not a love triangle. It's also not to punish Haley. In fact, it's to do the opposite, but you can't get to that without exploring the hurt her actions caused.

I was going to post this chapter later in the week, but I can see that with the heartbreak of the last chapter, it's needed. This one is a little surprising and may seem a little non sequitur from the last, but there is a reason for it. It's a simple reason: life follows no logic. The things we say one day may not impact our actions the next.

Anyway, thank you for the reviews. All I have to say is keep the faith in this story. I needed to write the angst in order to get to the fun and confusing parts. lol.

**Chapter 4**

_**I Am Not The Person Who Is Singing **_

_**I Am The Silent One Inside **_

_**I Am Not The One Who Laughs At People's Jokes **_

_**I Just Pacify Their Egos **_

_**I Am Not My House Or My Car Or My Songs **_

_**They Are Only Just Stops Along My Way **_

_**I Am Like Winter **_

_**I'm A Dark Cold Female **_

_**With A Golden Ring Of Wisdom In My Cave **_

_**And It Is Me Who Is My Enemy **_

_**Me Who Beats Me Up **_

_**Me Who Makes The Monsters **_

_**Me Who Strips My Confidence**_

"STOP!!! I cannot take anymore depressing Paula Cole. Can you PLEASE play a happier song?!!?! UGH!" Brooke screamed from the bedroom and then slammed the door.

Haley simply smiled and continued a little louder.

_**I Am Carrying My Voice **_

_**I Am Carrying My Heart **_

_**I Am Carrying My Rhythm **_

_**I Am Carrying My Prayers **_

_**But You Can't Kill My Spirit **_

_**It's Soaring And It's Strong **_

_**Like A Mountain **_

_**I Go On And On **_

_**But When My Wings Are Folded **_

_**The Brightly Colored Moth **_

_**Blends Into The Dirt Into The Ground**_

Brooke, opening the door again, threw something at Haley. "No more!! You have a nice voice, but I need some happiness in this apartment. You are ruining the 'care-free' ambience!"

Haley simply laughed and began to play Mary J. Blige's 'Work That".

_**I just wanna be myself **_

_**Don't sweat girl be yourself **_

_**Follow me **_

_**Follow me **_

_**Follow me **_

_**Girl be yourself **_

_**That's why I be myself **_

_**And I'm gonna love it **_

_**Let em get mad **_

_**They gonna hate anyway**_

_**Don't you get that? **_

_**Doesn't matter if you're going on with their plan **_

_**They'll never be happy **_

_**Cause they're not happy with themselves**_

"That's an improvement," Brooke smiled entering the kitchen. "I can finally come into the kitchen and not feel the need to stab you."

"I should be offended," Haley smiled, " but I know how the depressing music has been bumming you out, so I won't take it too personally."

"You still haven't told me what locked you in our room for three days. You didn't go to school, shower.. I don't even know if you went to the bathroom. For all I know, you took a shit in a bag. I was so worried."

"I did use the toilet," Haley defended, "and I got up once or twice."

"When you ran out of tissue. Seriously, Tutorgirl, if you pull that again, I will not make excuses for you to Luke, and he would be here in a second to carry you to that shower. That was not a pretty smell. . ."

"Shut up," Haley smiled. "I just needed a couple of days to get over the fact Nathan and I are pretty much over. I even took off the wedding ring. "

"He was worried."

"Who?"

"Nathan, dumbass! He kept asking people where you were or if they had seen you in class." Brooke notified her as she got her stuff together for school.

"Yeah, I'm sure he cared soooo much."

"Stop that. I will not tolerate this. You are coming with me to school, and you are going to love it. As for Nathan, I have an idea. . ."

"I don't like the sound of that," Haley worried as she went into the bedroom to throw on some clothes.

"You should be excited about this. This is going to change your life!"

Haley walked out in gray sweats and a white tank stop with "FML" written on bold black letters across her chest.

"Oh, what in the fashions gods' names is THAT?!" She questioned, referring to Haley's poor outfit choice.

"FML is 'fuck my life', and these sweats say THHS on the bum. It's perfect."

"Oh, that is far from perfect, sister. BUT, I'll let it go today since you are at least showered and out of your bed."

**

Haley walked into her first period class, regretting skipping three days. That was completely out of character for her, but she actually did all of the homework for these classes that Brooke brought home, so she at least made up for her lack of presence.

"Look who finally came to school," Lucas smiled. "Brooke said you were suffering from Herpesvirus 2. . . "

"Genital Herpes? Thanks, Brooke," Haley cringed. "I knew I should have told her not to google random conditions."

"I figured you needed your space. I heard from some of the guys that Nathan told you he wanted to see other people."

"Yea, I think I like Herpesvirus 2 better. . ." Haley attempted to joke. Why the hell would he tell people unless he really did want to move on? Oh, now she actually did feel sick.

"He's not happy with it. . . this seeing other people thing. I don't actually think he'll go through with it."

"Then why is he telling everyone?"

"He didn't. I think he told Peyton, and some of the guys overheard."

"He was probably saying he could finally be with her again," Haley mumbled.

"No way," Lucas protested. "That is not true and you know it."

"We both just don't want it to be true."

"No, even Nathan told me he would never go there with Peyton again. They did not work in a relationship together."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. It's over and done with. I am in total tutor-bitch mode, and I just want to get this day over with."

**

Haley walked toward an empty outdoor lunch table. So far, her teachers had given her hell for skipping classes without a note. She tried to reason with them, claiming her parents were somewhere in the country in an RV and wouldn't know whether she was sick or not. They then proceeded to lecture her on the fact she did not have a legal guardian and blah blah blah. It always ended with, "you're better than this." She hated that phrase. She still had top marks in each class, so what if she needed a few days to herself? Was it such a crime for her to have a couple of flaws?! She was ready to scream.

"Hey," Nathan greeted, taking a seat next to her. "How are you feeling? Brooke said you were sick. . ."

Oh, this was just fantastic. Did he have to ruin her day even more by sitting next to her and looking that hot? And, to top it off, she couldn't attack him because they were 'friends'.

"I'm better now," she informed him.

"I was going to check up on you, but Brooke said it was crazy contagious." Nathan had been really worried about her. Ever since he had told her he wanted them to see other people, he wanted to take it back. He wanted her to know he was scared in that moment, and it came out, and he wished he had taken it back. Her being away for three days had made him miss her more than he could have imagined.

Haley laughed at this. Yes, genital herpes was generally very contagious. Brooke was definitely one of a kind.

"What's so funny?"

"Brooke," Haley told him. There was no need to lie completely. "That's sweet that you wanted to check up on me, but I am fine, I promise."

"I'm glad," he smiled and then noticed she didn't have a lunch. "Have you already eaten?"

"No, I forgot my lunch and wallet. I wasn't really thinking this morning," Haley smiled. "It's ok though. Luke said he would lend me some money during fifth, so I can grab something."

"Here," he handed her part of his sub and gave her his fork for his salad.

"I can't. . "

"I don't want you passing out on me. I would get all worried. . . and then I would have to carry you around." he smiled.

She took his fork and had a bite of his salad. "This is really good," she complimented and took a second bite.

"Don't eat it all," He laughed, grabbing the fork and taking a bite.

"Hey! I was not finished, mister!" She then grabbed the fork again and put another bite into her mouth. Unfortunately, she did it too quickly and smeared some of the dressing on the corner of her mouth.

Nathan simply laughed and wiped the dressing with his thumb and then licked it.

Was he trying to turn her on? Because it was working. _Friends.. married friends.. is what we are. Married separated friends.. damn labels! _She didn't want to question his flirting, fearing he would revert back to his usual stoic attitude around her, but she wondered why he made such a complete 180 since last Saturday.

"What are you up to tonight?" He asked after taking a bite of his sub.

"Not sure. Brooke said she was going to change my life at 2:45 and then Lucas and I talked about putting some of the golf course back up."

"He took it down?"

"Yeah, well, he didn't think I was coming back. . ." She really didn't want to start on this subject. "But I did, so we're going to rebuild and make it even better!" She smiled.

"I'm sure you will," he smiled and took another bite of his sandwich. He really wanted to spend some time with her, but he didn't know how to ask. Having her in town and not ever seeing her has been torture for him. He also knew she must be confused by him spending time with her now, but it was because he missed her so much. He realized he was sending mixed signals, but he needed to be around her. It trumped his stubbornness.

Haley continued to eat and look at him. They would both smile at each other when their eyes caught. This was definitely very very weird but in a very very good way.

"Hey guys," Brooke greeted as she took a seat with a couple of her fellow cheerleaders. "I told you she was better, Nate." She smiled when she saw the flirting between these two. They were such an adorable and confusing mess, but they wouldn't be naley if they weren't.

"Hey Brooke," Nathan greeted, rolling his eyes. Leave it to her to ruin his alone time with Haley.

Haley was staring down all of the girls who were making eyes at her husband. It was official, she heard countless times in various settings, Nathan Scott was a single man. Everyone, it seemed, was so excited about this. Well, except her.

"What does FML mean?" One of the girls asked. All of these girls had been disgusted by Haley's choice of outfit today. "She must be a mess.. look what she's wearing"..

"It stands for 'Fuck my life'."

"That's umm.. interesting." The girl seemed scared, but then she smiled at Nathan. Haley figured she took this as a sign that Nathan would want her.

Instead, Nathan's hand went to her back and rubbed it in a circular motion. "Are you still addicted to that website?" He laughed.

"Yes, a woman today wrote that her 7 year old son was under the bed while she and her husband were having sex."

Nathan laughed at this. "That still doesn't beat the one where the father walked out in the hall naked and told his "wife" that he was ready for her, and it was his daughter. That would be traumatizing."

"I still remember the time I saw my dad naked last year."

"Oh, I remember that. He thought you were staying with Luke, so he and your mom were. . ."

"Stop!" Haley laughed. "Everyone does not need to know this story," she warned and pointed at him to further shush him. Nathan simply laughed and continued to rub her back. It almost seemed like he wasn't aware of the fact he was doing it.

"So Nathan, I heard you're having a party this weekend," one of the girls giggled.

"You heard wrong. It's actually Tim who is throwing the party at his dad's beach house. He's just been using my name, so that people will go."

"He needs to stop doing that," Haley moaned. "We always got random people coming to our apartment ready to party at like one am in the morning since Tim forgot to give a few people directions."

"You then banned Tim from our house for a month," Nathan smiled.

"Well, he needed some discipline," Haley argued. The two of them continued to "argue" about Tim and partying.

Brooke simply watched in awe. Didn't they break up? Why was he all over her? Why were they joking? Why were they smiling? Oh, this was something she did not understand at all. All of the girls were pissed since Haley in sweats and a messy bun could hold his attention much better than they could with their perfect hair and coordinated outfits. Brooke would laugh if this all wasn't so weird.

"Oh, I have to go meet Whitey. I'll see you in 5th," he smiled and gave her shoulder a small squeeze as he gathered his stuff to leave.

Once he was out of earshot, Brooke spoke up. "Ok, what the hell was that?"

Haley smiled. "I have no idea. It was weird, right?"

"Very! That boy is so hot and cold…"

"I think he's just hot," miss flirty sighed as she looked after him as he walked into the school.

Haley simply rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Brooke. "Do you think he's being extra nice because he's seeing someone new?"

"I don't think so," Brooke declined this idea. She would know if he was with someone new, wouldn't she? "Do you want me to do some research?"

"No, it's okay. He's free to do who or what he wants. It was nice to just talk to him again," she smiled sadly and gathered her books.

**

It was 2:45 and Haley was waiting for Brooke at her locker. Brooke was going to finally tell her what this life changing idea was.

"Tutorgirl! You are here and on time! This is why this is going to be so perfect."

"What will be?"

"You joining the cheer squad, of course."

"Please don't tell me that's the news I was waiting for all day."

"I couldn't tell you this morning. You would have said no. Now, you have to come with me since I am your ride home."

"Oh, you are evil, but no. I will do some homework and wait for you."

"Did I tell you that Nathan is generally shirtless at these practices? All the girls notice. . ."

"So. . ."

"So, you need to be there to remind him that YOU are the only one who gets to touch that wonderful slick body. . ."

"Stop lusting over my husband."

"Come on, Haley. I needed two girls, and only one girl, Rachel or something, was good enough during tryouts and I remembered how amazing you were last year. . ."

"I don't think so. . ."

"Nathan has always had a thing for cheerleaders. . ."

"You're not going to get me like that . . ."

"Pleeeaaaseee… I am desperate."

"Brooke. . ."

"I gave you shelter, I put up with your sad songs, I dealt with your mood swings and greasy hair. You owe me!"

Haley sighed. This would be a good way to prove to Nathan she wanted to be close to him, but was it too desperate? "Fine, but I am doing this for you." She told her.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!!!" She grinned and hugged Haley. "And look, you are already dressed for practice!"

**

"You're a cheerleader?!" He laughed.

"Shut up, Luke!" Haley smacked him across the arm. "Brooke practically forced me."

Nathan walked into the gym and saw Haley talking to Luke. Why was she there?

"Nathan," came the redhead who hit on him at the bar. "It's nice to see you again," she smiled.

"Yeah," he responded, his eyes still on Haley. He was confused.

"She's a train wreck, isn't she? I can't believe she wore that outfit to school, and what is she even doing in here? She's probably stalking one of the basketball players," she scoffed.

Nathan was a little angry about her comment, but he really wasn't in the mood to talk to this girl. He's met many different versions of "Rachel", and while she could probably be a good distraction, she wasn't worth ruining his relationship with Haley with. Instead, he nodded at her and rushed over to Haley.

"She's a cheerleader!" Lucas laughed when Nathan joined them.

"Stop it!" She was annoyed with his constant laughter. Was it really that crazy for her to be a cheerleader?

"You're what?" Nathan joined in the laughter. "Hales, you hate cheerleaders."

"Brooke forced herself on me, so here I am. No more laughing or I may have to do a repeat of Jamal's party on both of you."

They both winced and then complied with her demand.

"I think it's perfect." Nathan told her when Lucas walked away.

"Why is that?" Haley smiled.

"I can look at you while I practice now. I have my muse for the year," He flirted.

"Oh really?" She smiled. "Well, that's a good thing because I seem to be wearing your number above my ass," she flirted and then turned around and lifted her shirt to give him a visual. She knew how he reacted to this.

"Oh, baby, that is just mean. How am I supposed to concentrate now?"

**

"What the hell?!" Rachel asked as she watched Haley practically show Nathan her ass.

"What?" Sarah, a fellow cheerleader, asked.

"How is she flirting with the hottest guy in this school? I knew she was here to stalk someone."

"Their mar. . " Sarah started.

"They have the hots for each other," Brooke interrupted. She did not want any naley drama at this practice. She then called up all the girls for their first practice of the season. They needed to be ready for Friday's game.

"Nathan cannot have the hots for that girl; she's so . .disgusting."

"What are you talking about? She's beautiful," one of the girls argued.

"Well, Nathan's eye won't be on her for long. . ." she grinned .

Haley, hearing her mumble to herself, smacked Rachel in a way that was intended to shut her up, but Haley made it seem like she was leading her to the group of girls. "Don't count on it," she smiled.

**

After practice, Nathan tried to shower quickly, so that he could see Haley before he left. He needed to find a way to tell her not to see other people and that they would be ok. Him saying that stupid phrase had been his wake up call. The idea of being with another girl was not that appealing, and the idea of Haley being with a new guy made him want to punch a wall. A part of him felt that they needed this time apart from being 'married' to get things back on track, but they could just try to be friends. They don't need to add in so much other drama.

"Nathan!" _Fucking red head needs to back off. _

"I'm kind of busy," he told her as he searched for Haley.

"You mean looking for that train wreck who was trying to flirt with you? Pathetic," she scoffed while smoothing out her hair and adjusting her shirt.

Nathan was shocked by this. Did she really not know who Haley was? Was she living under a bus?

"Haley is my wife," he informed her.

"Your what?!"

"My wife, as in the girl who I married. I don't think it's that complicated."

"Oh, this is just ridiculous. I knew Tree Hill was a weird town." Rachel noticed he really wasn't paying her any attention. This was new for her. Guys always put all of their focus on her, and why wouldn't they?

"All over school, girls are talking about how you're finally single, so that must mean she won't be your wife for long," she attempted to flirt. She always did enjoy a challenge, and Nathan could amuse her for a little while.

"Don't count on that," Nathan muttered and walked over to Haley and Brooke. "Hey ladies, great practice. I especially loved the new blonde. Where did you find her, Brooke?" He joked.

Brooke was completely shocked by Nathan's attitude. What happened to the guy who grunted a few words and was all broody? He was truly giving Lucas a run for his money. Now, he was… well, cheery and nice.

"Oh, shut up. I know I am not the best cheerleader, but I am willing to work on it." Haley smiled. He was teasing her now?

"I was actually going to say the opposite. I think I chose the best girl out there to be my muse," he grinned and put his arm around her. "I can't wait to see you in the uniform." After he said this, he rubbed her back a couple of times, letting his hand wander to her tattoo. "I hope it shows this off," he whispered in her ear and then left them to meet up with some of the guys for dinner.

Brooke and Haley both looked at each other in awe. "Did that just happen or was I dreaming?" Haley asked as she attempted to mask her complete lust over that boy.

"Oh, that happened. He's totally trying to turn you on. I think you need to play his game," Brooke smiled.

"Game? This is just a game?"

"No, I think he's truly smitten and can't help but always want you, but I think we need to play with him a little. Tomorrow, we start "operation make Nathan sweat," she grinned.

Haley smiled at this. This could actually be fun.

She then looked over at Rachel who looked completely flabbergasted. Haley didn't know what her problem was, but she was really not in the mood to fight some plastic bimbo off her husband.

**

Nathan entered his room and sighed. He loved hanging out with the guys, but they were getting exhausting. Today, they were racing in shopping carts. One guy would get in and another would push, and whoever got to the finish line last, had to drink some concoction the guys had made at dinner with anything they could find on the table or on their plates. Nathan was thankful he didn't have to drink it. Tim was the lucky one, and he was sure he was still throwing up.

Nathan went to his computer and then opened a saved file. The familiar melody filled the room and Nathan couldn't help but smile as he watched her.

"_This is a song I heard a few days ago, and it made me think of someone special in my life. It's a cover from one of this person's favourite bands, Incubus. It's called, "I miss you"._

_**To see you when I wake up**_

_**Is a gift I didn't think could be real.**_

_**To know that you feel the same as I do**_

_**Is a three-fold, Utopian dream.**_

_**You do something to me that I can't explain.**_

_**So would I be out of line if I said "I miss you"?**_

_**I see your picture.**_

_**I smell your skin on**_

_**The empty pillow next to mine.**_

_**I have**__** only been gone ten days,**_

_**But already I'm wasting away.**_

_**I know I'll see you again**_

_**Whether far or soon.**_

_**But I need you to know that I care,**_

_**And I miss you.**_

Nathan could see the tears in her eyes when she finished the song. He never told anyone that he tried to download videos from her concerts and even collected any MP3s he could and burnt them on a disk. No one knew how proud he was of her and how much he regretted the way they ended things. He let his hurt over her connection with Chris overshadow his desire to support her in all of her endeavors. He definitely regretted taking this from her now. She shouldn't have left the tour for him.

He then looked over at his wedding ring that he had placed on a chain. He was always so confused when he was around her. On one hand, he wanted her to suffer like he had, yet on the other hand, he wanted to protect her from all of the hurt in the world.

He couldn't trust her yet, and he couldn't give her his heart again at this moment, but he knew that he needed her in his life, and he would try harder to show her that. He just wanted her to try a little harder and show him that she needed him just as much.

He put the chain around his neck and looked at the ring again.

**

Haley sat on her bed and stared at the ring she had taken off after Saturday's heartbreak. She felt so confused about what Nathan wanted and why he was acting so "hot and cold", but she knew one thing: he would always occupy the biggest part of her heart. She put the ring back on her finger: the place it was meant to be. This was meant to be and somehow she would get him to see that again. He needed to know that he was her "happily ever after". No one else could take that spot in her life. Not now and not twenty years from now. She knew she lost his trust, but she was going to fight hard to regain it.


	5. A wicked idea

Thanks to those who reviewed so far! It means a lot to know that some people are reading it and maybe enjoying it. I apologize if you all think I'm a Haley hater because I am not at all. Hopefully, the next few chapters prove that since the girl I have been writing lately has even annoyed me. Haha.

Anyway, let me know what you all think. This one is long, but I don't know when I'll have time to update (because of school in the summer), but if the interest is there, I will work at finding the time.

I am a Haley supporter 100% and that's probably why I am playing with her character the most – in good and bad ways. :-)

Chapter 5

During the next day at school, Haley dressed in a pair of skinny jeans and a shirt that could easily show off her tattoo if she bent over or even extended her body. Brooke had asked her last night what would mess with Nathan's head most, and Haley revealed that her tattoo was always a great way to grab his attention. She didn't really want to play this game, but Brooke convinced her that after yesterday's confusion, Nathan deserved to be played just a little.

"Ok, so you sit in front of him today and make sure he gets a look at that tattoo," Brooke informed her as they walked toward their lockers. She had to laugh at how much thought Brooke put into this little plan. She wasn't really sure she wanted to do this. Sure, she wanted Nathan back and yes, this could be fun, but it didn't feel right to be playing petty games with him. Her coming back to Tree Hill, giving up the tour, was to show him just how much she loved him, and she felt like she was failing in that department. It was actually him who was making all of the effort. Why wasn't she putting herself out there more? That was a question she was not ready to answer and a part of her was scared to even think about the meaning behind it.

"Got it," Haley smiled. She then waved and Brooke and walked into class, thankful for the open seat in front of Nathan. "Hey," she smiled, "How are you?"

"I'm good," he smiled politely and let his focus go back to the song playing on his iPod. Well, this was already a change from yesterday. Back to stoic Nathan, she observed. She then looked at her shoelace and smiled. Here goes nothing, she sighed and then bent over, allowing her shirt to ride up and make her "23" visible.

At first, Nathan simply nodded his head to "Hip Hop is Dead" by Nas until he noticed her bent over. His eyes went right to her back, noticing her tattoo. Saliva and air were no longer present, and he tried to hide this wave of lust with a cough.

"Are you ok?" She smiled sweetly.

"Perfect," he smiled while his eyes were still on her back. Oh, how he longed to touch her in this moment. He was about to give into temptation, but the teacher walked into class and began to announce what the agenda for the next hour was.

**

"She is evil," Nathan muttered as he walked over to his locker. She knew his weakness for her ass and tattoo, and she was playing him. He knew it. When they had been living together, she had certain signals to show him that she was horny for him. Sometimes, it was the way she played with her hair. That was more coy, signaling for him to take charge in that moment. There were moments where she would just give him the "look" that told him to take off his shirt and throw her on the bed. And, when she was very desperate for him, she would start bending over or accidently showing her tattoo to capture his attention. He saw through her, and he was happy that she was flirting with him like this. She seemed so hesitant lately, and he wondered if she was simply giving him space or if there was something holding her back from being more aggressive towards him. Two can play at this game, he thought as he unzipped his hoody and placed it in his locker. He was now in a sleeveless black t-shirt. He grinned, knowing she was powerless over his arms.

**

At lunch, he noticed Haley sitting alone again in the same spot as yesterday. He smirked as he walked toward her table. He rested his hands on the table and deliberately flexed his muscles.

"Hey," he smirked and continued to stay in this position until she noticed. Unfortunately, she only mumbled a quick hello and continued to read _Wuthering Heights_.

When she noticed he did not move for at least a minute, she looked over to him; her eyes on his flexed arms. "Gulp". "H-how are you?" she stumbled while she licked her lips. Oh, those arms.

"I'm great," he smirked as he continued to flex and watch the lust in her eyes. He knew that he had won this little game.

"Aren't you going to sit down?" She asked and tried to cover up her lust by clearing her throat.

"I'm kind of comfortable here," he grinned when she frowned at this. He wasn't ready to stop this until she realized what was happening.

"Ok," she responded hesitantly, but her eyes never left him. She wished she had the power to look away, but her eyes had a mind of their own.

Nathan, who was watching her intently, couldn't hold back his laughter. "I'm sorry, but I can't keep this up."

"What?" She was confused. Was he playing her? OHHHHHHH!! He was! That fu-

"That'll teach you for showing off your tattoo at 8am in the morning."

Haley joined in the laughter. They were completely ridiculous today. "You know I can't resist your arms," she smiled.

"I know. You also know I can't resist your tattoo… and your perfect ass"

"I know," she smiled cockily. She always loved how he made her feel so confident. She used to be the girl who believed that she was average looking, and that maybe there wasn't anything too special about her. She was okay with that because she believed that there was more to a person than their appearance, but she never expected to feel so sexy. Nathan had always made her feel sexy, and she loved that about him.

He finally sat next to her and gave her his salad and fork again. "I know how much you loved it yesterday, so I made sure to bring it just for you.

"That's really sweet. All I have is a soggy peanut butter sandwich. Brooke spent our food money on a new shirt for her first official meeting as president."

"Well, if you find yourself starving, you can always come visit me. I'll feed you," He smiled. He also meant this literally. He loved it when they used to feed each other because it usually led to some amazing and messy sex.

"Why are you being so nice?" She finally blurted out. He had ignored her at first, claiming he wanted space and time, and now he was constantly trying to be around her at school. She loved the attention, but she hated being confused over his intentions.

"Maybe I just miss you," He responded shyly. He was never one to be shy, but he didn't want to admit he was so pathetic without her, that he always yearned for her, and that he longed to tell her about his day or just talk to her about anything mundane. She was always the one person who saw through all the walls he put up and just saw _him. _He missed that.

Haley grinned at his response. She couldn't put into words how much she had missed him. "I've missed you so much. . "

"Good," he smiled.

She kept smiling at him as she started to eat the salad he brought for her. "This is really amazing. . ."

"Ever since dad moved back in for the mayor race, my mom's been buying the most expensive anything to piss him off. She claims that she needs these organic salads to keep her perfect 'figure'. . ."

"Ugh, I can't believe your parents sometimes. They act more childish than we do."

"Yeah," he sighed. "It's been a little tense around the house. I was actually thinking of throwing a party Friday night at the beach house to get away from them."

"After the game? I thought Tim was. . ."

"He was, but his step mom is using it this weekend for some stupid chick stuff, so we're just changing locations. This way we don't lie about it being my party."

"It's the first game in two days," she reminded him. "How are you feeling?"

"Good," He admitted. "High flyers really helped me a lot this summer. Besides, we're playing the lame Pickerington hicks, so I'm not too worried.

"I remember that weird night," Haley sighed. That was the night she spent time with Peyton and Brooke for the first time and felt she was on another planet. It was also the first night she admitted to someone, other than herself, that she had a crush on Nathan.

"It was too bad Luke and I got stranded that night because I was hoping to hang out with you after the game."

"Really?" she smiled. "You weren't just sticking it to Lucas then?"

"No, you know I fell for you after our first tutoring session," he smiled. "You called me on my bullshit and managed to look adorable doing it. There was no hope for me after that."

"When you gave me the bracelet, I couldn't help feeling those stupid butterflies. I hated it because of Lucas and you, but it was there. . ."

"Who would have thought that Lucas' best friend would end up being my. . ." he stopped for a second. He was about to say 'everything'?

"Your tutor?" Haley supplied and smiled. She didn't want this to turn into something deep and depressing – not when so many people were surrounding them.

"The best tutor," he smiled and put emphasis on tutor to indicate that she was so much more, but he wasn't ready to make that real – not when things were so confusing between them.

**

Haley and Brooke walked into the loud house ready to celebrate the Raven's first win for the season. The energy was high and everyone was ready to have a good time, including Haley. She realized that she had been a bit 'depressed' at a few other parties, but she wanted to put that behind her and have a good time. The other good thing was that this was Dan's beach house, so she knew all the places she could hide if things did get out of hand.

Her and Nathan still hadn't talked about this friendship brewing between them or maybe it was friendship with a lot of flirting on the side, but either way, nothing was defined. Everything was confusing, and they only really spent time together at school or after their practices. They never took the time to hang out outside of a situation that forced them to make the effort.

"Hey ladies," Lucas greeted with a smile and handed them both drinks. "Give up the Grudge" by Gob filled the room.

Both girls thanked him and ran off the dance floor and jumped around like maniacs, laughing and smiling. This is why partying was fun. When you could let loose and ignore the lunacy around you, it was much easier to enjoy the night.

"Hey man," Nathan greeted Lucas with a fist bump.

"Hey," He greeted as he watched Brooke and Haley. "She's a lot happier," he observed.

"Haley?"

"Yeah, a week ago, she would have been the one in the corner sulking.

"Yeah. ." Nathan didn't really know what to say to that.

"What changed? I've noticed you guys spending more time together, and I'm really hoping you're not messing with her."

"I'd never mess with Haley. It's just easier to be around her than to avoid her, you know?"

"Yeah, she has that impact on people," Luke smiled. "So this isn't a game?"

"No game," Nathan assured. He was annoyed that Luke thought so little of him, but he knew that he was looking out for Haley. "I'm not ready for us to be together again, but that doesn't mean we have to avoid each other like the plague, right?"

"Sure, but she's really confused by all of this. She loves you so much, so she'll go with it, but I really don't want to see her hurt. I don't want to see either of you hurting."

"When I'm with her, I'm not hurting as much. It's corny, but it's the truth. She's always been so important to me, Luke. It's not like I can just turn off loving her."

"Then why tell her you want to see other people? You're married, man! That's wrong."

"Technically, we are separated, but I didn't mean it. I was hurting and she was opening her heart to me, and I lashed out. Saying it made me realize how much I don't want that."

"Good, because that Rachel chick has her eyes on you."

"I know," Nathan confirmed. "She somehow got my number and won't stop texting or calling me. She actually sent me a naked picture of herself."

Lucas laughed at this. He could tell that Nathan was irritated by the attention.

"She's one of those girls who tries harder when a guy says no. Before Haley, I would have probably gone after her for the easy lay, but I'm not that guy anymore."

"Good. Haley deserves better."

"I know that. I would never intentionally hurt her. I love her more than anything, so please don't assume the worst of me, okay? That girl means the world to me."

"I'm really happy to hear that," Lucas smiled. There really was hope for these two to make it. He understood Nathan's hesitation. It was the way Brooke was dealing with their history as well.

"Ugh, my feet are killing me! I can't believe Brooke made me wear these death traps also known as shoes!!" Haley exclaimed as she walked over to Nathan and Lucas. It was nice to see them work out their issues and try to be brothers again. She knew that Nathan had felt betrayed by Lucas when he visited her in NYC without telling him and that Lucas hated Nathan's attitude, but they seemed to be working passed it. It was good because she knew how important they had become to each other last year.

"You need to stop letting her control your wardrobe," Lucas laughed.

"I tried, but she's been on me ever since I wore sweats to school. It's like I broke some chick code I wasn't informed of. "

"Why? I thought you looked hot that day," Nathan smiled.

Haley blushed a little that this. "You're just being nice." She then proceeded to take off the shoes. "Do you mind if I put these in your room? I know their designer something, and she'll kill me if I lose them."

"Here is the key. I think you have a pair of flip flops in there if you want something on your feet."

Haley smiled at this. Sometimes it paid to be married to the guy throwing the party. "Thanks! You just made my feet very happy!" She grinned and took the key, running up the stairs.

Nathan grinned when he saw her trip up the stairs. God, he loved her.

"Hey, baby."

"Rachel," he muttered. "What a surprise. . ."

"I was hoping you saved me a dance," she smirked as she attempted to rub her chest along his arm. "I'm told that I am an amazing dancer,"

"I'm sure you are," Nathan rolled his eyes. This girl was seriously getting on his nerves. She truly didn't understand the word no.

"You want to see for yourself?" she purred into his ear and tried to take his hand.

"I'm actually not in the mood to dance right now, but. . ." he looked around and saw Tim near him, so he grabbed him arm, "have you met Tim?" He then ran out of there and let Tim pull out his moves that he knew would annoy Rachel.

"She doesn't give up, does she?" Lucas laughed.

"No, she's a clinger," Nathan observed. "I wish I knew how to get rid of her."

"Just keep ignoring her. She'll move on to her next target eventually."

**

Haley entered Nathan's room and sat on his bed. It really felt nice to sit. Why did Brooke have to ruin her life by forcing those shoes on her? That's not love. She then searched for the flip flops Nathan said were around and saw a couple of her things in the closet. They had used the beach house a bit when they were married and when they knew Dan was out of town. She then proceeded to kiss her flip flops and placed them on her feet. "I love you guys!" Before she could make it back to the door, her phone went off.

"Hello?"

"_Haley-bob! How are you?"_

"I'm great, Quinn. How are you?"

"_Better than great. Jeff and I are getting married next weekend, and I was hoping you would be my third bridesmaid!"_

"Next weekend??!! And you're telling me now?"

"_We just planned it yesterday. Calm down. We wanted a small ceremony, so we planned to have it at his parent's place with only close friends and family. Anyway, I really need my Haley-bob to be in my wedding, so please come. I'll send your dress in the mail and some cash to make any necessary adjustments." _

"Of course, I'll be there, big sis. I'm really happy for you," Haley smiled. Quinn was never a patient one, so this really didn't shock her. She didn't even know she was engaged.

"_Perfect! Rehearsal dinner is Friday at 5pm and the wedding is Saturday afternoon. Oh, and Viv is throwing the bachelorette. It's going to be amazing!!" _

Haley smiled at her excitement. She was happy she was going to see her family again. They always made her feel better.

"_Are you bringing a date? Have you and that fine husband made up yet?"_

"I don't know about that. I may just ask Luke or whoever. I doubt Nathan would even want to go. . ."

"Go where?" Nathan asked when he walked in the room. He had been wondering what was taking her so long.

She signaled for him to wait a moment and turned her attention back to Quinn. "Send me the dress, and I'll make sure it fits perfectly. I can't wait to see you next weekend!! I'm really happy for you, Quinn!"

"_Thanks baby sis. Call me sometime this week, so that we can catch up okay? Last time I saw you.. well, you weren't looking so hot." _

She knew her family was concerned because she was such a mess over the summer, but she would show them on Friday that she was doing a lot better. "Bye sis!!" They then hung up the phone, and she turned her attention to Nathan.

"Quinn's getting married next weekend."

"I didn't even know she was engaged," Nathan commented.

"Neither did I. Quinn is just like that though. She never likes to wait for anything she's excited about. It's going to be small and at his parent's house outside of Raleigh."

"Right." Nathan was feeling the awkwardness between them. Did she want him to go with her? Did he want to go with her?

"If um.." This was harder than she thought it would be. How crazy is that? Too nervous to ask your own husband to be your date. . ."you wanted to come with me.. well, that would be nice….. but if not, I can just ask Lucas or even Skillz. . ."

Nathan thought about this for a second. Spending time with her family again and being a part of a wedding with her. . . He didn't know if he was ready for that.

Haley saw his hesitation and took back her offer. "Don't worry about it. If Luke is busy, I know that Skillz would come with me. He owes me anyway for being his date to his dad's fundraiser a few years ago.."

"You and Skillz dated??"

"No no no," Haley laughed. "Never, but he needed a date, and I was there.." She laughed.

Nathan was relieved to hear that. Nathan thought about this for a second. He really didn't want her to go with anyone but him. He trusted Luke and Skillz (maybe a little less), but he did love Haley's family. . .

"I guess I should get back downstairs. Brooke sent me a text yelling at me for disappearing."

"I'll go with you," he finally said.

"What?"

"The wedding. I'll go with you. It could be fun," he smiled.

"That would be great," Haley smiled. "I know my family would love to see you again, but I warn you they may make some assumptions."

"Let them," Nathan smiled. "I've really liked spending time with you again without focusing on the past, and this could be. . . nice."

"Yeah, it could," Haley smiled. "Thanks. I was really hoping you would come with me," she couldn't stop grinning. They were finally getting to a better place together. It gave her hope.

**

Later that evening, Haley sat on the picnic table at the Rivercourt. Although the party was still going on, she had lost interest when everyone was too drunk to even hold a conversation. A couple of girls had even started thanking her for being such a bitch to Nathan since they now had a chance with him. She had simply smiled at them and moved on. She was getting tired of everyone's comments. She guessed that popularity was only a good thing when everyone liked you.

"Hey baby girl, what are you doing out here?"

"Skillz!!" She grinned and ran toward him, throwing his arms around him. "How are you?"

"Better now that you're pressed up on me," He grinned.

She simply smacked him in the arm and took a seat once again.

"What you doin' out here so late, mami?" He was concerned about her. He'd seen the hate she'd received at school, and he wished there had been a way to protect her from it.

"Thinking."

"Don't you white girls ever get tired of thinking? Damn, girl. My head's been hurting for you. . ."

Haley simply smiled at him. "I think I have lost 10 pounds by just thinking."

"Put it back on!!! You're too skinny!"

She adored Skillz. He always knew how to make her smile.

"What does my favourite rock star need to think about?"

"Here," she handed him a picture.

"What is this?"

"It could have been the cover to my album. Chris sent me the proof. "

"This picture is sick, mami! Lookin' hot!"

"I do have my sexy pout on," she joked. "It only took 45 minutes of the photographer yelling 'I said sexy and not cute.'"

"You could do sexy in your sleep," he smiled. He looked at the picture a little closer, reading the text "Untitled . . "

"Well, we only recorded one song," she informed him. "I don't even think it's an official cover since we did the photo shoot for tour posters, but it was Chris' way of showing me what I'm missing."

"You gonna go back?"

"No," she replied, "I don't want to go back. I mean, sure I miss it. It was an amazing experience, but. . . "

"But what? You gave this up for what?"

"For me," she informed him. She told everyone it was for Nathan, and that was partly true, but she really left for her.

"Why? This seems like it would have been great. . ."

"My heart was breaking everyday of that tour. How can I go out there and do this, knowing Nathan was hurting back at home? Who did that make me?"

"Girl, who are you? I remember two years ago you kept going on and on and ON how you would never be one of those girls."

She looked at him and smiled, remembering such views. "I would never let a guy dictate my happiness. I would never let a guy control my life. AND I would be successful and never let a guy hold me back. I remember that."

"Exactly! What changed? All of a sudden you be datin' Nathan and married??"

"I fell in love. It's easy to say all of those things when you've never fallen in love. Of course, I wouldn't give up my identity to be with Nathan, but he became the most important person in my world. He became someone who I could see sharing a life with 50 years from now. He's just been everything I could dream of. . ."

"What about you though? Would he give up his dreams for you?"

"I think he would," she told him honestly. He was willing to give up high flyers. "I would never want that, but he would."

"Exactly, you'd never want that. Why should you punish yourself so much if he did? He wanted to hold you back. . ."

"It's more complicated than that," Haley tried to explain. Chris complicated it.

"It's really not. If he really loved you, he would have found a way to be with you. You've got to stop this "woe me" bullshit and start being that awesome girl I know again."

Haley looked at Skillz. This was probably the best advice she had received from anyone regarding this whole situation. In a way, he was right. Nathan had given her an ultimatum. She made it clear it was never about wanting Chris, and she never even came close to being with him on the tour. She also realized that when she had shared her fears, he ran out on her, and he went to visit Taylor. Of course, Taylor reassured her nothing had happened, but it had hurt her so much when Taylor admitted she had visited with him.

"What are you saying? I should just say to heck with Nathan and go back on tour?"

"Nah, I'm saying don't give up on your dream because of him. You need to live for YOU. He needs to accept that you have a love for something other than him. . ."

"I'm scared. We're finally talking again, and I don't want to ruin that. . "

"You can't seriously think it could work between you if you're sacrificing who you are for him."

"I'm not though. I'll always have music. It will always be with me. . ."

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

"With Nathan. . ."

"That's it?"

"No, but the rest doesn't matter. I may be doing music or maybe I'd be doing a masters. . .but whatever I'm doing, I'd be with him. I can't erase him from my life. He's too important."

"Look, I was going to give this to my girl Mercedes, but I'm all about equality." He handed her a flyer.

"Auditions for _Wicked_?"

"School production. You don't have to be a big time recording artist to be doing something you love. . ."

"I've never really thought about theatre. . "

"I don't know why. You've got mad vocals. You could make this amazing. I'm doing the lighting," he told her. "Think about it. Auditions start Monday. . "

"How is this chasing my dream?"

"It's not, but life isn't black and white. . . You can still be doing what you love without it being so drastic. Maybe being a 16 year old pop star wasn't your calling..."

"What if it was?" She wondered.

"If it was, you wouldn't be here now. You wouldn't be this pathetic version of Haley desperate for a guy's attention. . ."

Haley looked at the flyer and smiled at Skillz. He was right. She wouldn't have given it all up if it had felt right. She wouldn't have come back here and dealt with all of this heartache if it was her calling.

"Thank you for this," She smiled at him. "I'm really going to consider this."

"You know you're my shorty! I got you're back, mami. Make me proud," he smiled and then began to leave. "I have so much respect for you H. James. You came back for all the right reasons. Don't beat yourself for it. Be real about it. Don't be scared of being here."

"When did you turn into Dr. Phil?"

"Girl, I ain't that punk! Don't insult a brotha like that. It's all Oprah…" He continued to mumble about her Dr. Phil comment. "I thought we were friends!"

"We always will be," She smiled and hugged him.

"I know this theatre thing is not cool and something the popular girls do or rock sars, but I think you could really give the theatre program some respect by joining. . ."

"I'm not one of those popular girls," Haley smiled at him. "Just because I married Mr. Hotshot doesn't mean I forgot who I am."

"Good," he smiled. "I'd hate for you to go plastic on me. I'll see you at the auditions."

"I never said I was. . ."

"I'll see you Monday. I think you should sing that "defying gravity" song. It's hot."

"See you Monday," She smiled. She looked at her 'album cover' and ripped it in half. She finally felt like she was doing what she was meant to be doing.

**

She ran to the beach house, noticing there were still a couple of people partying. Most were sitting around a bond fire on the beach drinking and laughing. She ran in the house and saw Nathan in the kitchen fixing a couple of drinks.

"Hey," she greeted him.

"Haley," he smiled. She noticed he was slightly drunk, but at least he wasn't stumbling over his words or falling over. "I looked for you, but Luke said you took off. . ."

"Yea, I just needed to clear my head, so I went to the Rivercourt."

"Please don't tell me you shot any basketballs… I wouldn't want you to injure yourself," He laughed.

"Ha ha," she sarcastically replied to his teasing. "No, I am injure free."

"Good," he smiled. "What's going on?"

"I came here to tell you. . ." She took a breath. She needed to do this.

"Tell me what? Are you okay?" Nathan was concerned.

"I'm good. Better than I have been in a while. I finally got some clarity. . ."

"Okay. . . is this good?"

"I love you. God, I love you so much. I am so in love with you, and I am so sorry I didn't show you that for months. I'm sorry I didn't work harder to show you when I came home. I've been hiding behind my own broken heart and my own hurt. The hurt you caused me and the hurt I brought on myself. . . I'm done though. I came back to Tree Hill because I was tired of living a lie. I was tired of pretending to be happy."

"What are you saying? I'm a little drunk, so this is all very confusing. . ."

"I'm saying that I am going to fight for us. I am going to prove to you that I'm still that girl you fell in love with. . "

"That's great, but. . "

"I'm not going to give up my dreams though. You have to realize that I have my own goals in life, and I can't give them all up for you. I'm not always going to leave rock tours for you, and I don't want you to ever question where my heart is when my next opportunity comes. I love you more than anything in this world, and I will always feel like that. . ."

"I never wanted you to give up your dreams for me. . ."

She shook her head at him, signaling that she did not want to have that talk at this moment. "I know we're going to be okay again. We are, and I am ready to be your wife again. I am ready for us to face this crazy world together, and I will always be there for you… the way you had been for me."

"Haley, . . .I . . ." He started. This was starting to feel a littler overwhelming.

"I know this doesn't change anything. I know you still have to trust me again, and I know you still need time to deal with all of this. I know that I hurt you. By hurting you, I also hurt myself, and I let that consume me. I started becoming someone I didn't recognize, and I need to be stronger than this. I need you to know I am stronger than that. . . I love you, and I'll wait for you. I'll be your friend. I'll be whatever you need me to be, but I'm not going anywhere. My heart never left yours, Nathan. It never will, and I know we're too young to be married, but I don't think anyone understands just how hard I fell for you. If they knew, they wouldn't question me leaving the tour. They wouldn't question my reasons for marrying you. They would support us. They would help us. . ."

"You know I love you too, Haley.. I do, but I'm not. . ."

"I know," she reassured him. "I know. I'm just telling you how I feel. This was long overdue. You're my family... my future," She smiled with tears forming in her eyes.

"Hales. . .:

"You are. You mean so much to me… "

Nathan looked at her; tears were forming in his eyes, but he was trying to hold it back. He didn't want her to see just how much of an impact her words were having on him.

"We're going to be okay," She smiled confidently while taking his hand into hers. She brought his hand to her mouth and kissed it. "It's late, so I am going to go home, but I just needed you to know how I felt. . ."

He simply watched her.

"I'll see you on Monday," she smiled as she let go of his hand. She couldn't help but laugh at the confused look on his face.

He was speechless while he watched her leave the kitchen. He yearned to call her back and beg her to stay, but he needed time (while sober) to process everything she just said.


End file.
